NEVER Do This in China | Dating Culture of Chinese Women

China is a unique country in itself, but so are its people and their dating culture. If you happen to live in the country, which may explain why your dating choices revolve around Chinese women, you need to at least learn her perspective on dating based on her culture. It’s the same thing when you sign up on Chinese dating sites. Whether you are dating online or in person, there are some things that are better or not said and done.

Here are some of the big don’ts in Chinese dating culture when dating in China or online:

Don’t ignore learning Mandarin

Less than 1% of China’s population speaks English, which means fewer than 10 million Chinese. Even just a few simple words can help you break the language barrier, which is also a guaranteed way to leave a good impression on your Chinese date. Even if you meet a Chinese woman who can speak English, speaking some Mandarin will show that you respect her language and origin.

Don’t stereotype

It’s better if you don’t know what to expect when dating a Chinese woman because that might lead you to believing some of the stereotypes. Not all Chinese women are slender, good in the kitchen, or very conservative. When dating Chinese women, it’s best that you don’t generalize nor lump them all in the same boat. Never assume that they’re all the same.

Don’t rush her unless...

As much as you want to settle down already, you shouldn’t hurry your Chinese date. Growing up in western cultures, you may not be aware that Chinese people don’t mind having a lengthy date process. This is to ascertain whether their date is someone who they can really commit to. For Chinese women, dating is a very serious commitment.

But if she lets you know that she’s eager to get married, don’t delay! Chinese girls, if they’re at the marriageable age, will want to get married as soon as possible. With Chinese people’s downright honesty, she will most likely tell you this. So when she says she’s ready for it, don’t drag it out any longer.

Don’t compare her to other Asian women

Obviously, it’s not a good thing to compare her to other Asian women, especially to Korean or Japanese girls. Don’t even open your mouth to talk about the difference if you want more than a first, second, or third date.

But seriously, don’t you ever mention Japan. It’s like a taboo word in China since these two countries have long since been rivals.

Don’t ever suggest splitting bills

Even the most modern Chinese girls still stick to the old traditions. They would determine whether a man is able to provide for them and their future family. One way they gauge this is if the man picks up the bills especially on the first few dates.

It doesn’t mean that these ladies are after your wealth. But being the practical people they are, Chinese women will likely choose men who can offer them not just love but also a future comfortable lifestyle.

Don’t argue with her about politics

Remind yourself that she has been brought up in a nation where communism has been the norm for many years. She might not take your gist about democracy and may even find your democratic view as strange. If she does start this type of conversation, be on the safe side by allowing her to lead the conversation and not be pulled into a debate.

Don’t wear your shoes inside her home

Wearing one’s shoes inside another person’s home is considered rude. Chinese people are very particular about hygiene. This, in fact, is a tiny, secret recipe to losing her family’s favor, and even losing the chance to prove that you’re worthy of their daughter.

Don’t force public display of affection

Early on, keep your hands to yourself. Chinese couples do not openly display affection toward each other publicly. If you insist, she might be embarrassed or offended, which is such a deal breaker in the early part of your relationship. Even the simplest affections, like holding her hand or giving a little peck on the cheek, may not be even welcomed.

To be safe, wait for her to initiate physical contact with you.

Don’t give bad comments about her age

In China, women tend to look younger than their age, so it’s a common thing to see a Chinese woman in her 30s still looking like in her 20s. Don’t make her feel old for her age, but compliment on her beauty and sense of fashion instead.

The Do’s in Dating Chinese Women

Now, here are some of the things you can do to date Chinese women by taking cues from Chinese men that have already married:

1. Get along with her family. Chinese households are normally very tight knit, so it’s common to find Chinese ladies still living with their extended family at home. This is why her family’s opinions of you will matter in the long run. Learn the traditional Chinese greetings for her elderly family members, and show respect—always.


2. Learn about her culture. Aside from learning simple phrases and words, you also need to learn about her culture. Start off with Chinese cuisine. This, and learning about her traditions, can be the winning piece to her heart.


3. Be honest about your intentions. As mentioned, dating is a serious matter for Chinese ladies because it is a stepping stone to marriage. There are many fun-loving Chinese girls out there, but it’s always better being upfront about your intentions right from the start.


4. Accept her beliefs. Even those toward traditional Chinese medicine. There are a lot of things that will seem strange to you at first, but this comes in the package of dating a Chinese woman.


5. Encourage her to talk. She might be introverted, and thus, may just wait for you to take the lead. Most of the time, she may just try to show respect and wait for you to finish speaking before she will. So always encourage her to speak after you’ve said your piece.


6. Empower her to climb up the career ladder. Chinese women are more than ever becoming very driven and successful in their careers. She will cherish how much you can inspire her to become better.


7. Explain to her why you’re ideal for each other. You might just convince her, as well.

Remember all these when dating Chinese women, especially if you want more than just the first few dates.